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We live in a culture riddled with secrecy, denial and childhood sexual abuse. Revelations and reality about the pattern of institutional cover-ups within the Catholic Church underscore the nature of the problem. The voice of children, who are the victims of sexual abuse, are often disregarded and invalidated. The power of denial transcends the painful reality of violating our most valuable, yet vulnerable resource. Often, parents, community caretakers and agencies are more interested in protecting the perpetrators of abuse than in seeing justice rendered. It's unfortunate, but in a litigious society the wheels of justice are more likely to be granted to the most powerful players.
Our children are not only fragile to the ravages of sexual abuse; they are also more vulnerable to having a clear, powerful voice to speak out on their behalf. Children are reticent to share the depths of their painful experience with adult caretakers for fear of being misunderstood, experiencing a heightened sense of shame, and feeling apprehension about the potential consequences of disturbing disclosures.
In order for kids to heal from a history of sexual abuse, they need a believable system of support that takes their claims seriously. Children need to be affirmed during the process of releasing shame-based thoughts and feelings that go to the core of their identity. The onion must be peeled back slowly, allowing the victim ample time to disclose the horrific nature of their experience. All this must be done in a skillful way that honors their feelings and lays the groundwork for a fresh identity, freed from the notion that children are tarnished goods. On an emotional level, children of sexual abuse must clearly understand that it never was about them and that people and/or institutions they trusted knowingly betrayed their innocence. Only then can our troubled children start on the path toward a triumphant life with a brighter future.
